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Ask A Witch: Love Spells

Today’s question comes from Amanda with a question about love spells.  I have to admit, I have a mixed view on love spells.  Many people discount them completely but I tend to have a bit of a different view.  I also tend to think that it’s not so much my place to tell someone what they should and shouldn’t do with regard to casting a love spell.  I have had my own experiences with them, which I’ll share a bit about in this answer, and hopefully some of my insights and thoughts on the matter will be helpful for both Amanda and others who are wrestling with the matter of love spells.

Do you do love spells? If you do, is it really making a specific person fall for you or is it making a person come to you faster because you 2 were already meant to be? Because I dont want to do a love spell unless its natural, just moving the process of us being together faster LOL

~ Amanda

Thanks for your question, Amanda.  Your question is one that a lot of people ask when it comes to spell.  Love spells are tricky and in large part your intentions and your purpose with the spell is the key and the most important part of any spell, but especially love spells.

Most people feel that love spells which are designed to make a specific person fall in love with you are “black magick”.  Many people also feel that a love spell of any kind that is aimed at a specific person for any reason is also “black magick”.  This means that a spell that Sally casts with the intention of making her crush Billy fall madly in love with her would be wrong, but so would a love spell that Sally casts to try and get Billy to start paying more attention to her with the hopes that he’ll ask her out on a date.  Even though the level of seriousness of the spells are on different ends of the spectrum, they still focus on Billy specifically.  This is why they come into question.

Love spells can be designed to focus more on you than on another person.  This is more commonly the kinds of spells you’ll come across in books today, though there certainly are plenty of people that will advocate casting a spell on the specific person you’re interested in.  To be on the safer side many people will recommend casting spells in yourself for love, not someone else.  So what does that mean?

Love spells that are designed to be cast on yourself are more like drawing spells.  They incorporate things that will make you more attractive to other people.  This doesn’t necessarily mean physically attractive, though there are spells that work with that as well, but many are focused on making your personality stand out more, making your energy more magnetic, and in general helping to put out the “vibe” to draw prospective partners toward you.  Many people who are looking for someone often become a bit jaded, down, or discouraged over time and this can cloud their energy and make them less attractive to others.  This can add to the frustration of not finding anyone and can make the search go on much longer than expected.  So these spells, like love bath spells, try and clear out the stagnate energy, clean it up, balance it, and make it more “shiny”, so to speak.  When you shine and radiate love you will attract love to you.

It’s always possible that these spells can draw to you the person that you want to be with but they can also draw to you someone else who might be better suited to you.  Often that is the focus of these types of love spells; the idea is to draw to you the person that is right for you or who is best suited to you.  But, again, the key is not to be focused on anyone specific with these spells and instead to just focus on seeing yourself in love, happy, content, and with someone that is right for you even if this might be someone that you haven’t even met yet.

I have had some experience with working with love spells specifically aimed at certain person.  When I was in college I was going through a period of testing the limits of my abilities with magick and even though I’d read plenty of books that talked about not casting love spells on a specific person I had someone who I had been dating who I wanted to have a more serious relationship with.  I cast a specific spell on this person and in the middle of the spell I got horribly sick all of a sudden and had to leave my circle.  I came back after a little bit and finished the spell.  Several weeks later, after going back to school after summer break, this person and I started to see each other again and things were definitely more intense…but not in a good way.  I couldn’t seem to get five minutes to myself, the drama ramped up, and the relationship turned a bit abusive.  Things eventually ended but it didn’t end well and I certainly felt like I learned a lesson.  I ended up meeting someone else who, at the time, was much better for me and gave me more of what I was looking for at the time who the other person really couldn’t have no matter how many spells I had cast.  I have some other love spell stories but I’ll save those for another day.

My view from personal experience is that if someone wants to be with you, they’ll find a way to be with you.  Using a spell to get them to date you or love you, even if it’s just a spell to hurry along the process in a current relationship, is still trying to force someone to do something that they clearly either don’t want to do or aren’t ready to do.  No love spell that focuses on another person is ever “natural”.  Instead focus on either working some magick on yourself or, better yet, examine the relationship or situation with the specific person and see what the causes may be for things not being how you’d like them to be and see how you can work on them.  Also, it’s important to remember that not everything needs a spell and sometimes it just needs some mundane work.  In the case of a relationship, starting with the mundane first always works better than just jumping into spellwork.  You might be surprised to see just how much magick can manifest by doing the mundane stuff first.

Comments

  1. Amanda says

    Rowan, you're advice is very true! And I do feel the same way, why should I cast a spell on someone that doesn't want to be with me? Even if it did work, subconsciously I will know that its not natural, its because I did something to link him back to me. I want someone to love me because THEY ACTUALLY DO! But your love spells for yourself sound great! I would like to replenish my energy and get negativity off of me. What do you recommend I do? I also want to not have such a bad outlook towards guys because I feel like the negativity sticks with me. Any household spell suggestions?

    • RowanPendragon says

      To get rid of negative energy and bring yourself back into balance I'm a big advocate of ritual baths. Putting together a simple bath of sea salt and any herbs that you find relaxing (I like rose and lavender for this) and add it to a hot bath and soak in it visualizing that all the dark, icky energy that you feel is weighing you down leaving your body and going into the water. When you're ready to get out leave that energy behind and see it flow down the drain when you drain the bath. When drying off visualize and feel any remaining energy being wiped away and be sure NOT to reuse that towel until after it's been through the wash.

      If you don't have a bath rub you can still do this in the shower by taking the sea salt and herbs and putting it in a muslin bag or wrapped in cheese cloth and tie it to the shower nozzle so that the water will flow through it when while you stand under it. Visualize the water running down your body while it takes the negative energy with it and then see it running down the drain.

      Negativity towards men is something that you could work on with ritual baths as well but you might also want to work on a spell on yourself to open your heart up to men in a positive way. This can be done with something as simple as a candle spell (pink candle would be the best color for this) or something as involved as a poppet spell. If you'd like some specific help, feel free to email me privately and I'll see what I can do to help. 🙂

    • Rowan Pendragon says

      Well, that all depends. Why are they your ex in the first place? How long has it been since you’ve been apart? Has the ex moved on? Getting back an ex is something that I don’t usually recommend but there are always so many circumstances that can vary, everyone’s situation is different.

  2. Meredith says

    Wow, all of that made sense and I’m glad I read this before performing any type of spell used with someone in mind but myself. I can see why ridding yourself of icky energies and filling yourself back up with love and trust in the Universe might do all the work in order to feel more fulfilled and lighter every day in life, AKA becoming a vortex for positive and new relationships/friendships! Thank you! <3

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