Taking Responsibility, a mini rant

Lately I’ve found myself dealing with a lot of people that aren’t interested in taking responsibility for themselves and their situations.  I find myself navigating emails and chat sessions with both existing and new clients that seem to be seeking the “magic cure”.  But I’ve got news for everyone out there that is looking for this cure, the spell that will cure everything; the spell you need isn’t what you’re thinking of.  What you need is to take responsibility for your problems and own it.

Now, this doesn’t mean that all your life’s ills are your own doing, however our actions or, in many cases, inactions, when we hit a rough patch in life is often what leads us to eventually being in a place of feeling completely overwhelmed and as though only something like a miracle or a spell is going to make it all better.  The problem here is that when we don’t acknowledge ALL the things that go us to where we are we aren’t able to effectively move forward, and a spell isn’t always going to be the answer to your problems and it isn’t always the thing that is going to make things better, hell sometimes it can make things worse!

So the first spell that you need to cast is the one on yourself.  The one that makes you open your eyes and see clearly and that allows your ego to step aside a bit so that you are able to accept responsibility for your place in life.

One person I talked to was upset that her ex wont take her back.  They’ve been apart for a year, they are both single again and she wanted another chance.  When he said no she wanted a spell that would make him love her and want to be with her.  When I asked why the relationship ended the first time she tells me that she “technically” cheated on him; she said she was spending time with a co-worker and they “fooled around” a few times and she got caught.  The boyfriend leaves because he can no longer trust her.  She feels he’s not giving a chance to prove herself to him and that she needs to be given the opportunity.  She feels he’s unfair and that she’s paid her penance by being dumped a year ago and being without him all this time.  Yet in all these conversations she never actually says she was wrong or that she did anything wrong, but HE’S wrong from not being willing to give her another chance to possibly hurt him again.  Take responsibility!  If you haven’t cheated on him in the first place you wouldn’t be here now.  Sure, maybe the relationship wouldn’t have lasted, but you wouldn’t be here now begging to get him back by using magick.

I had another woman who is in her 60’s and doesn’t have the means to financially care for herself.  Her parents died not too long ago and they were her only means of financial support for some time.  She then had a slip and fall accident that left her injured for some time as well.  Now she has no money, no job, a lease that is going to run out, and no one to care for her.  Her only sibling was placed in the role of executor of her parents estate and he isn’t giving her anything from it.  She feels this is unfair and that he should be taking care of her since her parents did.  She feels that since he has a job where he makes a healthy income and because he has a home, cars, and material things she doesn’t that he should be providing for her and caring for her.  When I talked to her about getting a job she has one excuse after another about why there is nothing for her; companies don’t use people anymore since everything is automated, she’s too old, she can’t work the kinds of hours people ask for, she can’t physically do a lot of things, she doesn’t want to drive in the winter weather.  Take responsibility!  It’s not her brother’s responsibility to take care of her no matter how much she might think he should.  She’s a grown adult that should make her own way, yet she emphatically feels that since he has and she has not that it’s his job to care for her.  She doesn’t indicate having any disabilities of any kind that prevent her from working, she just sites her age and the “debilitating effects” of her parents deaths as the problem. She seems to have a reason to say no to jobs, she refuses to get on any public assistance and she’s clearly got a computer and internet access yet I’m guess she’s not about to cut back on those expenses.  When she asked me for a “millionaire spell” that’s when I knew nothing would get through.  Do I even need to point out the specifics here that need attention?  I didn’t think so.

So I’ll say it again…

Casting spells isn’t a way to get things without working for them.  It’s also not a way of escaping responsibility.  Even when you have a spell cast for you or you do it yourself your need to act on that is still going to be there.  Your need to be responsible is still going to be there.  I always try and walk into my consultations with the mind set that these people don’t know anything about magick, how it works or what it’s really all about.  I always end up giving a VERY brief crash course in “what is magick and how does it work”.  But sometimes it doesn’t sink in and people still think this is Hollywood and that I’m going to wiggle my nose and their problems will go *POOF*.  If it worked that way I wouldn’t need a millionaire spell because my nose would make me millions.

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  • DigitalMagick
    October 10, 2009 at 6:03 am

    Some very good points. It seems a great many people want the miracle cure, and are unwilling to accept responsibility for their own actions/in-actions. However there may be occasional instances where one is NOT responsible (Most cases of Rape, Theft, etc. Can't accuse a person of responsibility when they are stolen from when they did due diligence in protecting their possessions), this is not often the case.

    The only thing I could disagree with is that the internet – in today's society – is transitioning from a fun and useful privilege to an essential need. This easily seems absurd to the rational mind until one considers how many jobs can only be applied for online, how many tasks are becoming harder to accomplish without internet access. While it's not essential to life to have internet access, It's not essential to have a phone either, yet try getting by without one in today's world.

  • RowanPendragon
    October 10, 2009 at 6:15 am

    Oh I agree that there are cases where someone may not have responsibility for HOW their circumstance came to be but they certainly have responsibility for how they move forward. Like in the case of a theft, if you don't do anything to A) recoup your losses or B) prevent similar instances from happening in the future then I don't think you really have the place to complain later when something like this happens again…it's a matter of not just taking responsibility for the past but the future as well.

    As for the internet, yes, it's true that it's becoming more of a part of living day to day, HOWEVER, there are plenty of people that go without it for various reasons and when someone is telling me that they can't pay their rent and often can't afford food for themselves but they're telling me this via email from their house while also telling me about the movie they are watching on cable, I call foul. Don't cry about how poor you are and that you can't afford to even eat yet you have internet and you have cable. It's a matter of saying "Ok, I'm going to be without food and a place to live if I don't get my money straight, so what should I scale back on?". Even if it's only temporary doing that could make a world of difference one would think in a situation as dire as this (but then I have to also ask then why someone in this case would be coming to me willing to pay for spells and readings…for the record, I haven't taken a dime from this person and don't plan to either because I don't feel I can work with them).