Within the world of the paranormal the issue of boundaries can sometimes be greatly overlooked.  Many people approach the spirits with the idea that they have no control and that the average person is somehow at the mercy of any spirits or paranormal activity around them and therefore it’s only once they get a trained paranormal expert into the location that things will be able to be handled. This couldn’t be further from the truth.  One of the things that I love doing with my paranormal clients is helping them to take control of their lives and their homes or businesses when it comes to paranormal activity.  The very first step to doing that is knowing and creating boundaries.

Much like how we create boundaries with the living we need to be strong and willing to take control and create boundaries with the spirits as well.  These same principles need to be applied from the human experience to the spiritual experience.  There really are no differences other than how we perceive these interactions as being on different levels.

Approaching spirits like you do people will make you feel more empowered and less afraid.  If you find that you don’t have much issue with creating and holding boundaries with people, but you do with spirits, taking this approach will help you to feel more confident in how you handle your encounters.  Here’s another reason why this is so important; someone who is fully possessed within themselves cannot be possessed by anyone or anything else.

I talk a lot in our Law of Attraction discussions about owning your power because if you own it and you have power over yourself then nobody else can have power over you.  This is the same thing with spirits and the idea of possession.  It’s about owning and holding our sense of self, our energy, and our power.  Possession is not nearly as common as movies and paranormal television shows would lead us to believe.  But it’s even less likely to happen to an individual that has a strong sense of self and a strong sense of control over their lives.  When we see these depictions of possession, both fictional and based on real life stories and experiences, there are some common themes with the possessed individual.  They are often dealing with mental or physical illness, depression, loss, or have in some other way because energetically compromised making them a weak and easy target for an entity looking for a host to reside in.

In Katie Boyd‘s fantastic book “Devils & Demonology in the 21st Century“ she lays out quite simply the stages of possession which occur as a result of a demonic attack.

1. Invitation – This is the welcoming stage where the person has done something, often without their full knowing or understanding, that has welcomed in the contact with spirits.  Things that we often find happening during this phase are people playing with ouija boards, casting spells, working rituals and using other occult technologies without any real knowledge or understanding of what they are doing.  Typically these are people that just pick up a book and recite a spell without any understanding of what it means or how it works.  While often the lack of intent and understanding means the spells and rituals will likely yield no results they do open up psychic and energetic channels for the individual.  Thing of this phase with this analogy; a house that has been abandoned for years one night suddenly has all the lights on and the neighbors all come out to see what’s going on and check it out.  That’s what happens here; the internal psychic and spiritual light turns on after years of being off and all the spirits want to come see who’s coming out to play.
2. Infestation – This is basically the stage where an entity just starts to attach itself to the individual and wants to make themselves known.  They’re coming in and getting comfy in your home and in your life.  This is the time when manifestations of things occurs; tapping, knocking, growling, dark shadows, and the possibility for extreme things like poltergeist activity.  The point is they want your attention and at this point they’ll have it.  This is really when you should contact someone for help.  When we let these things go unchecked things only get worse.
3. Oppression – This is what I like to call the “freak out” phase.  At this point the activity will be heighten to where you are hearing things, seeing things, and thinking that things are happening to you or around you that are actually not real at all.  During this phase you might have moments where you look and think you see things like snakes crawling around your kitchen floor or the walls are cracking in front of your eyes, when in fact none of this is actually happening and you suddenly realize it’s all in your mind.  The entities at this phase are trying to make you feel trapped and as though you have lost your ability to have any sort of control over anything, including your own mind.
4. Possession – This is the deciding stage and the last stage of a possible demonic or spirit attack.  This is the point where either you decide to keep fighting them off or get the outside help necessary to do it or you give in and just allow the spirits to take you over.  At this point you’ll see signs like unbelievable levels of strength, voice and facial feature changes, personality changes, speaking in languages that you otherwise don’t know, and writing or symbols appearing on the body (scratches, welts, etc).

It’s important to understand that many of the common symptoms of a demonic or spirit attack are very similar to those of many mental illnesses.  Anyone who believes they are experiencing such an event should absolutely be evaluated by a mental health professional and treated traditionally either first or in conjunction with any spiritual or paranormal remedies.

In future posts we’re going to talk more about suggestions for dealing with these various stages, but I will tell you that I’m a huge fan for getting the clergy (mainly willing Catholic priests) involved in these instances, especiallyi if you believe it’s demonic.   These folks are specifically trained to deal with these issues in a way that most investigators aren’t, and even in a way that many psychics or other gifted folks on a team may not be.  But there are some things you can try and we’ll talk about them another time.  For now let’s talk about creating the boundaries to prevent ever having to get to that point.

 

If you’re afraid of the spirits it will only make them stronger.
Much like our human relationships, when we show fear it only gives more strength to those that oppose us.  Let a bully know that they have you afraid and they will bully you more.  Think of these malevolent spirits as bullies and rather than show fear, stand up to them.  Verbally and powerfully let them know that they have no hold over you and that you do not fear them.

Sometimes ignoring them is the best first step.
I know it sounds a little silly and maybe even ignorant, but trying to ignore the spirits that are trying to get to you can help to minimize the effect they have on you while you work out the way you’ll get rid of them for good.  When you pay attention to them it only adds fuel to that connection they want to have with you.  It’s just another tactic for letting them know they don’t have a hold over you.

When a spirit is aggressive with you, be aggressive in return.
This doesn’t have to mean that you’re going to get “in their face”, so to speak, but that you’re going to be in your power and you’re going to stand up for yourself.  Some people will, in their mind, be standing up for themselves but really they’re doing it in a timid way because something is holding them back (usually things like guilt, fear, and not feeling they deserve to stand up for themselves).  Stand up for yourself and be strong.

Belief is a huge element in possession; if you believe you’re possessed, you’ll be possessed.
Belief is a big part of paranormal activity and how it increases and becomes more and more difficult to deal with.  If you believe something is happening to you, whether it’s really happening or not, you’ll feel that it’s happening.  That’s the power of  fear and the mind.  Many times people who claim to be possessed aren’t truly possessed but have convinced themselves that this is what is happening to them so they have drawn all kinds of negative energy to themselves and created this condition in their mind.

Remember your free will!
Just because you’re dealing with spirits doesn’t mean that the same laws of free will don’t apply. Remember this when you’re starting to feel that you’re being attacked or bothered by a spirit.  You have the free will to take control of your life.

 

 

 

 

Create and hold your boundaries, stand up for yourself, and remember that you ultimately have control over these situations.  But when in need seek help! Don’t let a suspected spirit attack