Welcome to the very first post in a new series I’m doing called Goddess On Call!  If you didn’t catch my announcement about it or read in my weekly e-zine about this fun new Q+A segment, be sure to pop on over here to get all the details.  The basic gist is that you write in to me with your questions about life, spirituality, and kicking ass and I’ll share my answers, stories, and advice.  All in all a pretty good deal!  I get to do what I love, helping others, while you get some free advice and coaching.  I thought this week’s email was a great place to start too; how do you make time for spirituality when you’re so damn busy with life?!

Jessica writes in with her story and question…

[blockquote author=”Jessica” align=”center”]

Back when I was single it was very easy for me to find time and space to practice my spirituality. My husband is agnostic at best and I now also have a 9 month old baby girl in the household. While I do have school and part time work, I’m home frequently overall. My problem is I don’t really have any space that I can dedicate to spiritual work, and no time I can really dedicate. I get most of my homework done when my daughter is napping and her schedule is still a bit unpredictable in regards to when she’ll be up in the morning and go to bed at night. I tend to be rather private about my spiritual time and don’t want to practice in the same room as my husband and we just don’t have spare space in the apartment. There are no groups in the immediate area I feel comfortable with and the closest is farther than I have the gas money to get to. I haven’t been in the beginner phase for so long but I’m so out of practice now I don’t even know where or how to begin. I miss my spiritual time and don’t know how to get that equilibrium back. [/blockquote]

I’m so glad you sent in your question, Jessica, because this is not at all uncommon for a lot of people, especially when life sort of catches up with them.

Let me first tell you my biggest reminder for people in your shoes:

 

[fontpress type=”webfonts” name=”Original Surfer” size=”22px” lh=”22px” color=”#00B8B7″]Spirituality isn’t something that you “do”, it’s a way of life.[/fontpress]

 

It’s something that we should ultimately intergrade into our daily lives.  It’s something that we should be using as a tool to help us live better, happier, healthier lives.  And if it’s stressing you out because you don’t have time for it then it’s really doing the opposite of what it should be doing for you.

You didn’t really mention what specifically you’re looking to do that requires special space, and while I don’t want to assume what your spiritual practice is I’m going to go out on a limb and say we’re talking meditation and possibly ritual or magical work.

Because spirituality is something that is really part of our daily lives we have to be willing to be adaptable.  That means that we might need to do our meditations in the shower in the morning because we don’t have time to sit down in a special space that day, or we might need to modify a ritual because we can’t use certain tools where we are.  There are two key things that make your spiritual work important, powerful, and meaningful:

 

[fontpress type=”webfonts” name=”Original Surfer” size=”22px” lh=”22px” color=”#00B8B7″]1. Your Intention
2. How It Changes + Impacts Your Life[/fontpress]

 

The tools, the gestures, the words – all of these things, for the most part, are for our ego more than anything else.  We often talk about how we use candles, incense, and other spiritual and magical items to put us in the right mindset for spiritual work.  What that really means is we want to appease our ego so it will be happy and quite long enough for us to meditate for a few minutes or to focus our energy and intention so we can visualize something we wish to attract into our life.  Whether or not these things are used in your work is really only important to you, not to God/Goddess/Spirit.

We can engage in our spiritual practice on a moment to moment basis every day through simple acts of affirmation, gratitude, prayer, simple magic, and meditation.

Simply sitting down and reading a book that you feel is spiritual and that uplifts you during the half hour that your daughter manages to stay down for a nap is really part of your spiritual practice because it’s engaging your Higher Self and building up your spiritual reserves.

I can totally understand your feelings about not wanting to work in the same room as where your husband is hanging out.  I can also relate to having a spouse that isn’t spiritually inclined since my husband is a pretty hardcore Atheist.  His vibe is going to throw yours off in a time like that and, to be quite honest, when you’re working at something spiritual in nature and your vibration is rising it’s going to set off his Spidey senses and probably annoy him.  So for both of you it’s better that you find ways to work somewhere else.

Do you have any outdoor space you can use, even if not a yard maybe a balcony or patio?  If not consider finding a local outdoor space, like a park, that you could slip away to for a half hour a few times a week to just get into nature and decompress.  Ask your husband to watch the baby so you can talk a walk around the block and while you do listen to spiritually inclined music or meditations.

 

[fontpress type=”webfonts” name=”Cabin” size=”16px” lh=”18px” color=”#3B3B3B”]{Big Tip: You don’t have to sit with your eyes closed to follow along and benefit from a guided meditation!  All you need to do is have your attention turned toward the words being spoken and follow it along in your mind.  Walking meditation is a wonderful way to utilize guided meditations, movement, and spiritual engagement and is ideal for people in situations like yours!}[/fontpress]

 

As for the issue of space for other kinds of work, you have a few options.

1. Plan things ahead of time so that you can do work on the fly when either your daughter is napping or when you might be able to have someone watch her for a little while.  If you have friends or relatives that offer to babysit so you can do things like go grocery shopping in peace plan out something you want to do ahead of time and work that into your planned “alone time” either before you go or after you’re home.

2. Keep things simple so that you can do them without too much fanfare, at least for now.  If you’re working magic there are about a hundred simple ways for you to do just about anything.  I’m completely serious when I tell you I’ve worked knot magic/cord spells sitting in the bathroom before that were 100% successful!  Remember that it’s your intent and focus that matters most.  You can easily get your intentions in line and focus on your needs in 5 minutes and make magic happen…everything doesn’t have to be part of an hour long ritual.

3. When in doubt, and you really need space and privacy, use the bathroom.  I know it sounds kind of silly and about as unspiritual as it gets, but tell me where else you can go in your house where you can almost always get peace for a little bit?  Probably nowhere.  It might not be ideal, but it get’s the job done!  All the world is sacred so don’t worry too much about having to work in a special sacred space if that isn’t possible right now.  Turn any space into sacred space with simple visualize instead.  Close your eyes for a few seconds and see yourself and your space surrounded in a bubble of white light that extends far above you and goes far below you, deep into the earth.  Ask God/Goddess/angels to help keep you and your work safe and sacred for the time you’re there.

4. Get a daily devotional book.  There are a number of different kinds of devotional books out there geared at all kinds of faiths, not just Christianity.  Using a devotional book when you get up in the morning is one of the best ways to get yourself back into balance and on a spiritual path. Keep it next to your bed and when you wake up in the morning, before your feet hit the floor, read the passage for the day and reflect on it for a minute or two.  If you want to take it a step further, start a daily journal that you write in at some point during the day about your thoughts on the daily passage.  I kept one of these journals for years and actually wrote my daily entires as letters to the Goddess.  Write them as letters to the Divine, the angels, or your spirit guides and you’ll find that they’ll begin engaging you more {especially in dreams at first} because you’re engaging them.

5. Use daily affirmations.  Louise L. Hay has some wonderful books of affirmations {she’s the Affirmation Queen for a reason!}.  Pick up a book or two and use them daily to pick affirmations that will help you wherever you are right now on your path.  Don’t worry about where you’ve been or where you want to go, just meet your spirit where you are in the present and work with affirmations to keep you on track and connected to the Divine.

6. When it comes to a “working space”, like an altar, any surface will do and you can always remove your tools or working items when you’re done.  Things like candles that need to be left to burn can be left on the surface without everything around it.  You can also consider using a tray of some kind to be your altar space and when you’re done you can just slide it under your bed or dresser or put it away in a closet where it will be left alone until you need it next giving you some sense of stability

When it comes to groups, I’ll be honest and say that they aren’t the answer to a problem like yours.  They might help and it might be great to have a chance to feel connected to some like minded folks, but you still have to go home at the end of the day and face your life.  Finding ways to bring yourself back into balance with your spiritual path on a daily basis in your every day life is something only you can do.

At the end of the day it comes down to not trying to separate spirituality from everything else that goes on in your daily life.  You are a spiritual being in a human body who has the pleasure of experience a human existence this go around.  Don’t deny one for the other.