I’m so excited to be back to doing the Ask A Witch column! I love getting your questions and lending some advice. If you want to send in your questions for a future Ask A Witch post, head over here and get in touch.
Here is this week’s question…
I have never been in love and I feel so lonely without having someone to share happiness with and to tell all about my day. But then another part of me likes being independent and not having to talk to someone all the time or tell someone everything I’ve done. I dont know if this is even anything you can answer or if the angels can because I’ve been praying for help and asked for guidance but its just not doing anything, I’m so confused. I’m sorry this was so long but i just need to tell this to someone because everyone praises me for my independence from people. Thanks again.
Hey there, Anonymous!
Love is a tricky thing and this is a tricky question, but let’s dig into a little.
When you say you have never been in love and that you’re lonely, that’s the first thing to look at. What do you consider to be “love” and how do you deal with loneliness now? Why do you feel lonely? What’s missing?
One thing that I find common with a lot of people who have this kind of an issue is their perception of love and relationships. Do you know what you’re looking for?
It might sound a little cliche but it’s important to remember that you can’t ever count one anyone else to give you happiness.
So the first thing to do before even trying to petition the angels or anyone else for spiritual guidance and insight is to know what you’re really looking for. Not what you think you should be looking for, but what you honestly, truly want. Here are some questions that you can meditate on or journal with that will help.
How do you want to feel in a relationship with another person? This is extremely important to know. The more you know how you want to feel when you’re with someone else in a relationship the more you’ll be able to clearly state intentions on what kind of person you want to show up in your life. What’s the most important feeling that you need to have being with someone else?
What things are you unwilling to compromise on and what are your non-negotiables? Compromise is always a part of any relationship but you shouldn’t feel you have to give up things that truly matter to you or that you need to become a different person to find love. Knowing what you will and wont bend on, like your independence, is important.
How have you been stopping loving from showing up? You may not really realize it but it’s possible that you may be creating a block by focusing on the feelings of lack and loneliness. You may also have some self-imposed limited around love that are getting in the way. This goes back to the question of “what do you consider love to be?” Are you being unrealistic? Are you being too hash on yourself about love?
Are you really ready? It’s one thing to want someone to share your life with, but are you really ready for deep romantic love? Are you really ready for the kind of commitment and dedication that love requires right now? It’s OK if you’re not! But it’s important that you’re honest with yourself about that.
Once you’re really clear on what you want, what you need, and what you are willing to do to find it, this is when you can really start asking for help spiritually. When it comes to what you can do, I’m a fan of honey jar magick for love.
If magick isn’t really what you’re into prayer works too. The most important thing to keep in mind with prayer is that if you’re asking for guidance or you’re asking for help to bring something into your life, you need to be open to any possibility. The angels work on their own time and in their own way. If you’re asking for them to help bring someone into your life or to guide you in how to attract someone, it may be that their guidance and what they see as best for you is not what you desire on an Ego level. It’s important to put that Ego-based stuff aside when you’re asking the spirits for help, no matter what form they take.
In the end you need to remember that love happens when you’re really ready on a spiritual level, not when your Ego says you need love because you’re lonely. If you’re focused too much on these feelings of loneliness and not wanting to feel lonely you’re focused on the wrong thing. Instead, put your energy and intentions into how you want to feel with the right person in your life. When you find that, and you can really feel connected to that energy and vibration, then you’re able to find ways to manifest and attract that energy in your life.
Want to check out a little more? Here are a few articles that might also be helpful.