Last week on Periscope during a #ByeFelieciaFriday session we talked about the need to change our stories.
Changing our story is an important part of our growth. When we want to see change in our outer world we need to make changes within our inner world. Changing from the inside out is far more effective than trying to change from the outside in. You have full control over your inside but you can’t control anyone or anything else.
In other words…
THERE IS NO SPOON
So what is “your story”?
Your story is tied to your Ego and the internal dialogue or “story” you tell yourself over and over in your head day in and day out. These stories end up being how we gauge our worth, they inform our decisions, and they end up blocking us or propelling us further toward our goals.
When we’re stuck and feeling like we can’t get past something on our way to a goal, changing the story we’re telling ourselves can be a big step to reaching the next level.
5 Steps to Changing Your Story
Changing your story takes time. You didn’t start believing it wholeheartedly over night, so don’t expect that it’s going to suddenly clear itself up overnight either. If you commit to this and make it a practice with purpose you’ll make the change, slowly but surely. {And the more committed the quicker the change rolls in.}
1. Hear the voice, recognize the voice, listen to the voice.
In your head there is a voice telling you this story, whatever the story is. The first step is to hear the voice, recognize the voice, and listen to the voice. Once you notice it you’re able to say “Yes, this is a story being told to me.” Then you need to determine where that voice is coming from. Is it your own voice, your Ego? Is it the voice of your mother or a friend? Is it the voice of the infamous “they”, aka society or the world in general? Once you know the source of the story you need to really listen to what the voice is saying. Really listen. It might be uncomfortable but it’s important to really understand the story and acknowledge the story before you can change the story.
2. Journal it out.
Everything that you’re hearing that voice tell you…get it down on paper. Get it out of your head and get it into a journal. You might want to dedicate yourself to a week of listening to the voice and documenting everything it says. Carry that journal with you so no matter where you are and what you’re doing when that voice starts talking you can jot it down. Then take little bits of time during that weeks to specifically sit down and listen to the voice. Invite it to the table for coffee and just listen to it and document what it has to say. Notice everything not just the bad or uncomfortable stuff, even the stuff that feels good. Get it out of your head and into your journal.
3. Am I empowered by this or am I held back by this?
How does this story make you feel? Sometimes the story will be good, sometimes it wont. The good stories can stay but the ones that make you feel unfocused, unloved, devalued or held back in any way, they need to change. Once you’re been writing down the the stories in your journal you might want to highlight the ones that need to be changed and leave the ones that are good alone. But you need to get really honest with yourself because sometimes the “good stories” are really just distractions and when we really dig into it we know in our hearts it’s fluff. We don’t want that here. We want stuff that is strong, solid and supportive. Everything else has to go.
4. Literally rewrite your story.
Now it’s time to create a new story to tell yourself. Take all those stories that you’ve highlighted that are no good and rewrite them. So if one of your stories is “I’ll never be able to get my writing published because nobody is interested in what I have to say”, change that story to something like “Right now I may not be connecting with the right people to get my book published, but this is my dream and part of my purpose and I know that if I keep working at this I will meet the right people and find the right opportunity at the right time.” Do this for all your stories and fill your journal with new, rewritten, positive stories.
VERY IMPORTANT NOTE HERE:
This isn’t about creating fluffy, airy fairy, feel good/no substance stories. This is about being positive but also being realistic. You have to truly believe the new story you’re creating. You have to take control of the new story you’re creating. This is your new story that you’re writing so don’t fill it with crap that’s only going to throw you off track later. Be honest, be realistic but still stay positive.
5. Live your new story.
This part might be hard at first because it’s always easier for us to believe the bad things over the good. You’re now going to train your brain and your heart to believe and truly embody a whole new vibe and a whole new story. Don’t beat yourself up over not getting it right on day one. Every little bit of positive change is a change for the better. You might want to keep tracking your thoughts and your story in the first days and weeks of this to make sure you’re staying on script with the new story as much as you can. This will also help you see when and where you need to make more changes. You may find that certain stories are really harder than others to change and may need more time and attention to heal.
To live your new story you might want to read your new story to yourself daily, either first time in the morning or last thing before bed. Reading it before bed is great because then you can carry that energy and those vibes off into dreamland with you and they will work on your subconscious while your Ego, one of the authors of the new story, is asleep.
This takes time, but it’s time worth spending. It’s a process that can really change your life and change the way you think about the power of your own thoughts and beliefs. Dedicate yourself to this and by changing the story you’re living you’ll be able to clear the blocks, meet your goals, and get closer to living all those big dreams you keep dreaming.
