Probably one of the most asked questions I get is about curses.
“Have I been cursed?”
“How can I tell if I’ve been cursed?”
“What do I do if I have been cursed?”
Today I want to share some thoughts about what exactly a curse is, the signs of a curse, and what to do when you think you’ve been cursed. And, most importantly in my opinion, how to not get taken advantage of by a psychic or healer who tells you you’re being followed by an ancient family curse.
Disclaimer: Some of what I’m going to say here will be contrary to what you’ve probably heard before. Some if it may upset some people or maybe downright piss you off. And I’m OK with that. It’s all about gaining another perspective and more knowledge, so consider this stuff when you feel you’re dealing with a curse.
So first, let’s talk about what a curse is…
Usually when people think of a curse they’re envisioning a wicked old hag standing over a bubbling cauldron chanting or someone in a dark smoke filled room surrounded by candles sticking pins in a voodoo doll. Do these things happen? Yes. Are these kinds of rituals out there? Sure.
But you might be surprised to know that they rarely work. The truth is that the level of energy, focus, and the amount of time that energy and focus needs to be held to truly curse someone is not something most magickal practitioners are easily able to do. It takes a lot for those spells to work fully and effectively. More often you’ll find curses happen in a much simpler way.
At its core a curse is nothing more than negative energy directed at someone to do harm. This doesn’t always have to come in the form of a ritual and it also doesn’t always happen with direct intent. Some people send this negative energy without realizing it or without fully intending to do harm to someone. The true power of a curse actually comes from you, not someone else.
Yes, more often than not the person that curses us the most is actually ourselves.
That might sound a little crazy so let me give an example. This will give you an idea of how a “curse” works without there being a whole of bunch witchy hullabaloo involved.
You and your friend Sally are talking about your jobs. You’ve been having a bit of luck at work and you are currently preparing for a big promotion. If you get it you’ll move up that corporate ladder and get a nice raise. Sally on the other hand isn’t doing so well. Her hours are getting cut and she’s hearing rumors of downsizing. You’re excited about your job while Sally is scared of what might happen with hers.
A few days later while chatting with a mutual friend you find out that when you shared your good fortune with Sally it actually pissed her off. She’s really jealous and told your mutual friend that she hopes you fuck up your interview because that’ll teach you to brag.
You never expect Sally to act this way and you’re feeling blindsided. You’re upset that Sally’s upset and now you’re worried that maybe you might screw up the interview. This all snowballs and it eats at you leading up to the interview. On top of all that, Sally hasn’t been returning your calls or texts so you’re sure she’s upset and wishing ill will toward you. Now this is all you can think about and you’re convinced things are going to go badly.
At your interview you’re a little less sure of yourself than you were initially. Maybe you don’t completely mess the whole thing up but you didn’t knock it out of the park like you expected. The uncertainty that Sally has inadvertently put in your head shows and the person you’re interviewing with isn’t sure that you’re ready for this promotion because even you seem like you’re not sure you’re ready.
Imagine how this snowballs. You don’t get the promotion and now you’re bummed out. You can’t stop thinking about how this all went down badly, you’re still not talking to Sally and you’re convinced she hates you. You play the interview over and over in your head noticing all the places you could have done better. You start losing sleep over it because you can’t stop thinking about it. Now you’re not feeling well, things are shitty at work, you’re not talking to your friends because you’re just hating life right now and you think Sally’s probably gloating to everyone that you didn’t the job, and it’s all because you were just sharing your good fortune with a friend.
Sally didn’t do anything to make you fail in your interview or intentionally cause you to go through a shame spiral afterward. All of this was on you. Your own mind caused that negative energy to get bigger and stronger and play out in your life.
That’s the most common way a curse ends up happening.
Another way that does involve magick is when someone says they’re going to hex you, or someone else tells you about someone that’s working negative magick on you, but you have no proof. You don’t know that they actually worked a hexing ritual or spell on you but simply knowing it was possibly can be enough for you to take that negative energy and run with it and develop all the signs of a curse in your life.
What are the signs of a curse?
I’ve always found it funny that the “signs and symptoms” of a curse are basically the same kinds of things we see with any form of mild to sever depression. Here’s a general list of the commonly given signs that you’ve been cursed:
- Loss of sleep
- Body aches without explanation
- Persistent joint or muscle pain
- Legal and/or Financial problems
- Problems with your relationships
- Low energy/lethargy
- General bad luck
- Feeling you’re always in a “dark mood”
- Low libido
- Acting “not yourself”
- Impulsive and dangerous behavior
I mean, let’s be real for a second. All of us have at some point have experienced these things. Do you always think you’re cursed? I know some practitioners will say that if you’re experiencing three or more of these symptoms at a time you’re definitely cursed.
Usually when you’re losing sleep you’re also dealing with low energy during the day. And if you’re losing sleep because you’re stressed about legal or financial problems you’re probably also having a run of bad luck, at least in your mind, and it might be straining your relationships.
Again, does that mean you’re cursed? No…well, at least not by a witch.
So, how do you know if you ARE cursed?
If we reframe the idea of being cursed from a witch casting a hex on you to the idea of negative energy being directed at you with the intention of doing harm, we can more easily know for a fact if we’ve been “cursed.” The good news is the only way that negative energy can really affect us is if we’ve given it the space in our heads and our energy body to grow and take root.
If someone says something to you with the intention of causing harm, you have the potential of being cursed. The same can be said if you find out from a third party that someone has done or said something directed at you to cause harm.
This is where you can identify the source and stop the “curse” in its tracks. It’s a matter of coming into awareness of what the actual negative thought or energy is and then clearing it and turning it around with positive energy.
How do you reverse the curse?
In the most basic terms the way to deal with a cruse is something like this:
- Declare that this energy has no power over you
- Turn your thoughts around by laughing at it, making it a positive thing, or otherwise getting it out of your head
- Ritually cleanse yourself in whatever manner you feel is effective, such as a ritual cleansing bath or smudging
- Meditate to make sure you’re feeling disconnected from these negative thoughts and energies completely
- Spend time immersed in positive energy and doing things that make you feel happy, strong, and safe
Ritually you can certainly work magick to protect you from negative energy sent your way. Things like reversing candle rituals, petition magick, mojo bags, protection jars, and banishing rituals work just fine. But remember that the most important person that you sometimes need to protect yourself from is…yourself.
One thing that I often tell my clients to do when they’re dealing with something like this is to take up a journaling practice if they don’t have one. This helps to get the negative thoughts you may still be dealing with out of your head so they can’t wreak too much havoc on your mind.
The other things I always suggest are prayer and positive affirmations. You always want to focus on replacing the negative with a positive. By having a positive affirmation, mantra or prayer that you can turn your focus and energy to if the negative stuff comes back is always helpful to stay on track.
Don’t get taken advantage of from “psychics” and “healers!”
If there is one thing that utterly pisses me off about my line of work, it’s the money hungry fakes and frauds that prey on the fears of potential clients. We’ve all heard the stories, or maybe even know someone with one of these stories.
Someone goes to a store front psychic with a tale of woe and the psychic tells them that they’re cursed. But you’re in luck! The curse can be lifted if the psychic does this candle ritual but it will cost you $1000. When you balk at the price the psychic tells you the curse is worse than you know and she “doesn’t want to scare you” but if you don’t pay her to do this ritual the curse will affect your family for generations to come.
I sure hope you guys would know to run for the hills if you found yourself in this situation.
It’s also important to note that the idea of a “generational curse” is kind of bullshit.
If the idea of a curse is negative energy directed at you to cause you harm, it’s not going to trickle down to the next generation. Sure, someone can says “I curse you and everyone who comes after you in your bloodline,” but holy cow, that would take a lot of energy to manifest! And with no specific target or intent it would fizzle out fast.
The way this happens is the same as how any curse perpetuates. A story of a “curse” passes down from generation to generation and each generation carries this negative energy and negative thought pattern in their minds which causes them to attract “the curse” into their life. The idea of “what you think you become” doesn’t just work for positive stuff, ya know!
It’s best to save your money and deal with it yourself by working on your own mind, doing a banishing ritual if you feel you need to, and getting back into a positive mindset.