It’s that time again, a new year is about to hit and the time has come for us to start beating the crap out of ourselves for all the things we didn’t do or didn’t do right this year. You know, that annual precursor to the tradition of making New Year’s Resolutions. But this year is going to be different. No resolutions!
Don’t give in and do it because everyone else around you is.
Don’t give in because someone in your office is like “Hey! Let’s make a Resolution Board!”
The problem is nobody really wants to do these things and it all comes down to the simple fact that resolutions, by design, are pretty much built for you to fail.
What is a resolution, really?
A resolution is the act of solving something. It’s defined as an act or process of resolving; to solve a problem. In order for a resolution to really work you need to have a specific problem that you want to fix, something that you see as “broken” around you and in your life.
So the first thing that has to exist for your resolutions to work is you need to believe completely that you are flawed or broken in some way.
{P.S. You don’t need to be fixed! You’re fine just the way you are!}
Next comes commitment and consequence. When we have a problem that we say we’re going to solve, if there is no consequence for us to not solve it, there is no real reason for us to commit.
People often pick resolutions for problems they think they need to fix, not things they actually want to change.
That means the second thing that must exist is you have to have some solid consequence set up that will guarantee you commit.
This is one of the big reasons that resolutions don’t work. There’s no true consequence.
You say you’re going to resolve to lose weight – you’ve been 30lbs overweight for the last 2 years and now you say “OK, this year I’ll lose the weight.” But if you don’t, what’s the real consequence? You go another year 30lbs overweight and everything stays the same. At the end of the day when you don’t make the change you might feel a little disappointed but there’s a good chance you just drown that sorrow in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s and just move on.
Even if you try and psyche yourself up and say “But if I don’t lose weight I could have a heart attack and die,” there is still a good chance that you won’t follow through. The consequence is a “what if” kind of thing, not something that you know for a fact will happen. So again, not a real consequence (at least not one you know for sure will happen).
Most people are creating problems that don’t really need solving or that they don’t really want to solve just to create those New Year’s resolutions and, hence, failure happens year after year.
And lastly, resolutions have us living in the past, which is completely contradictory to what this time of year is all about. We’re already fighting a losing battle because this is the time of year where we’re mostly talking about what we’re excited for with the coming year, but resolutions keep us looking into the past, reliving memories of what we’ve screwed up while looking for what we can fix.
Let’s just stop this madness right now.
Instead of making resolutions it’s time to start making New Year’s Intentions.
I’m sure this isn’t the first time that you’ve heard this idea but consider the differences between a resolution and an intention.
:tada: Resolutions = the act of solving something that’s broken
:tada: Intentions = something we intend to do, the determination to act a certain way in order to accomplish or manifest something
Intentions just make more sense. They encourage us to embrace looking ahead rather than looking back like resolutions do.
Intentions have us focusing on the possibilities and opportunities for the future rather than looking to see what’s broken about us from the past and looking at what we need to fix about ourselves to be happy or successful. Intentions encourage us to look at what we want to create in our lives and how we can do that starting now, today, without any kind of attachment to the past.
For a time during the year when we talk so much about wanting to let go of what doesn’t work we sure do a lot to keep ourselves attached to the past!
Instead of looking at what you want to “fix” about yourself this year, ask yourself what you want to create for yourself, what you want to manifest, what you want to accomplish, and what you want to do or experience this year.
So instead of trying to come up with a list of resolutions that are going to give you unrealistic explications, added stress, and undeniable disappointment in about 2 weeks start working on some New Year’s Intentions! What do you intend to do this year to make your life better than it was in the previous year?
Here’s a little freebie to help you!
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